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Visit the Timez NewzRoom 2/15/02: I got surpisingly little hate mail regarding the item below on fat people vs. Fat People, and how obesity hurts more than the obese. I'm not asking for hate mail, mind you. But I was wrong about one thing. Not what I wrote, but what I left out — a solution. I hate to sound like an infomercial, but I'd like to suggest Body for Life. It's a shocking concept really — revolutionary, in fact. Eat right and exercise. Imagine that. If you need to lose 10 pounds or 200, give it a shot — it works. 2/14/02: A shocking tale of penguin lust for Valentine's Day. It seems the 10 female penguins of the New York Aquarium have been having sex with up to four of the nest's 22 male penguins per day — and penguins are amazingly monogamous creatures. Penguin couples in the wild often spend the entire winter apart, zillions of miles from the nest. But when the mating season comes, both partners return to the exact same spot — even the exact same rock — for love and mating. But not these penguins. Well, there are two males who may not be participating in the New York Aquarium debauchery. They have lived together for eight years, and "have the neatest nest in the colony," according to the story. Which is a nice way to put it. 2/13/02: Buck Wolf won't give me his Jesus action figure.Granted, he did put his to good use — at least for the moment — in the form of his column on the stranger toys on display at the Toy Fair this week. But I want his Jesus. I can't complain too much, though. Buck did give me his Opus the Penguin. You gotta figure Jesus really is one of the ultimate Products. Great name recognition, no licensing fees. Well, in this world anyway. I'd hate to see the retroactive bill on that, if it turns out otherwise. 2/12/02: Longtime readers know of my battles with the Fat People. If tt's too horrible to read in English, try this other language. First, let me distinguish fat people from Fat People. It is the difference between those of us who need to lose a few pounds, and those who insist on gaining as much weight as possible, then calling it a disability. The Fat People violently resist all attempts at a lifestyle of moderate eating and occasional exercise. The bodies of six Port Authority Police officers were found in the ruins of the World Trade Center over the weekend, apparently in the lobby when the building fell — steps from safety. With them, was the body of the person they were trying to save: a still-unidentified obese woman, strapped to a special chair needed to bring her down the stairs. I don't know if she was a fat woman or a Fat Woman. And it is possible that if this woman was normal-sized, all of them would still be dead today. It is also possible that, if the attack had happened an hour later, the attempt to get her out of the building could have blocked others from leaving. One of the six police officers was my cousin. Capt. Kathy Mazza. Based on what was found this weekend, it is almost certain Kathy and her fellow officers knew the other tower had already fallen and were under orders to evacuate. It's not too much to ask: if you are so Fat that you need a special chair, if you are so Obese that your office has a rescue plan for just for You, if You are a Fat Person, take a good look at Yourself, and the thousands — millions — of people who have gone from Fat to just fat, or even Skinny. Most of You can do it, too. 2/11/02: A little self-promotion. If you're interested in baseball, you know spring training begins in a few days. Sunday's New York Daily News ran my travel feature on what to do — and what not to do — at Yankees camp.
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